Sisyphus

In the Myth of Sisyphus, Camus uses Sisyphus as an allegory to show that one can find happiness in acknowledgement of the absurd. Sisyphus was a mortal man who upset the gods by “stealing their secrets” and becoming too involved in their affairs; making deals with Esopus and putting Death in chains. For his faults he was condemned to a torturous punishment in the underworld. Thus is the absurdity of the myth of Sisyphus; he must push a rock up a hill day in and day out, watch it fall, and push it back up again. Camus speaks beautifully to this absurdity. Highlighting the incredible struggle Sisyphus faces; “…one sees the face screwed up, the cheek tight against the stone, the shoulder bracing the clay-covered mass, the foot wedging it, the fresh start with arms outstretched, the wholly human security of two earth-clotted hands”(Camus 1). That hits home in a place any human can feel. He continues, “Then Sisyphus watches the stone rush down in a few moments toward the lower world whence he will have to push it up again toward the summit. He goes back down to the plain” (Camus 1). There is no end to that repetitive motion, the physical pain; yet Camus does not present this as a sad or hopeless story. Rather for Camus, Sisyphus is, at least in that pause on the top of the hill, “superior to his fate” (Camus 1). Yes, Sisyphus’ lucidity makes his fate tragic. But Camus says that crushing truths perish in their being acknowledged. Sisyphus knows his fate. This can bring sorrow, but it can also bring joy. Master of his irreversible fate, we should imagine Sisyphus as happy.

My rock is the mundanity of life, hand in hand with the battle of my mental health. It’s getting out of bed every day, brushing my teeth, going to school, going to work, sitting in traffic, doing homework, cooking, cleaning, doing dishes, and so on and so on. It’s going to therapy, keeping a journal, taking medications, getting off medications, getting better, and falling back down again. My relationship to that rock is complicated. It’s not easy. Some days the mundane seems too much to handle, and many days I wish I never have to get out of bed. In my darkest times I often didn’t get out of bed. But as it turned out, that rock was in my head too. It is waking consciousness. It’s the battle to do everyday and even when you do nothing, the internal dialogue that makes you feel guilty for doing nothing. But that is life. Life is getting up every day to push that same rock up that same hill and watching it fall down. So why is it that we don’t give up? Camus says poetically, “That hour like a breathing-space which returns as surely as his suffering, that is the hour of consciousness”(Camus 1) No one is happy every minute of everyday, but we keep going for that moment of peace, that moment of clarity where we know with our whole being that this existence is our choice; that we are choosing to be strong, choosing to go on, and choosing to accept our fate. 

I can imagine Sisyphus as happy because I continue to strive for happiness pushing my rock, and some days I am happy. Some days in my hour of consciousness, I see the whole mess of reality as so strikingly beautiful. In these times, I am like Sisyphus, “he is superior to his fate. He is stronger than his rock”(Camus 1). I watch many of the people around me who have hard lives and grueling jobs continue to find happiness within every day. That is life; finding happiness, or at least some peace, within the absurdity of our fate. We long to be stronger than our rock.

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